After many years of uncomfortable silence on the uncomfortable subject, finally I broke the silence with the announcement that I finally found my soft pillow. Since it had really taken time to find a love big enough to contain the thousand loaded atomic bombs inside me. Indeed, I was also tired of waiting with age catching fast on me. Most of my peers were married with at least 2 children and busy with family issues, whereas I still tossed alone on a cold bed and hugged the stuffed pillows for solace. ‘Chips funga’ was a dangerous game I never indulged in, and I was too impatient for relationships which provided no semblance to what I passionately envisioned. Then, I met Veronika Sindikha, and all that changed.

A man focused to land his covetous conquest

My folks welcomed Veronika Sindikha in Naitiri like a celebrity.  Illustration by Lewis Wafula I Caveman+ Media.

We connected instantly when our eyes met. She noticed I wanted her and she gave in without much resistance. The fact that her rural home was in Ndengelwa, whereas I came from Naitiri made us connect even more and sought each other’s lives out. She was an Omubukusu like me but she sounded, looked and behaved far from it. She seemed more of a model from Hollywood in Nairobi shooting a scripted movie. Her American English, expensive taste of clothes and accessories and mannerisms suggested she was a no yeye woman. Even though she seemed straight and down to earth, my manly instincts screamed at me to be careful on her or I would be burn alive. Another voice within me told me after a long wait, it was time to conquer a real woman and bring her home.

My determination, focus and zeal finally took the better of her and she gave in to my charms and smooth wooing. She was too beautiful and too good to leave laying around, especially not in Nairobi were monied and men with fisi senses would smell her out and hunt to maul her, while I lay prostrated on the bloodied on the ground, helpless and smacked in the face un-apologetically. She was a woman of taste, and being a man of means, I raised my level to please her and prove than I measure up to her taste. I even declared I wanted to introduce her to my parents, and after reluctance at first, she accepted that it would be ideal though she still felt it was a bit too early. In her presence, I made a call to my papa in Naitiri that I found a worthy woman, Omwinyange right in our neighborhood. In my heart, I knew she was the one. I was going to introduce her over to them over that same weekend, and seek their blessing as we planned for a wedding that December, if all plans went well.

Planning for a grand entrance for my Queen Vero

Everything was arranged and I hastened to ensure I made a grand entrance at my home, after years of being shamed and called kusumba. I ensured Veronika went to the best saloon in Nairobi and got a total make-over. I also advised her to wear some modest clothes because of the old conservative folks back at home, whose blessings we sought. She was a tall, light skinned woman with a full generous figure that swayed and bounced with every step she made. She flaunted it un-apologetically with such innocence  and such exuberance that most women always felt intimidated around her, as men cursed later after hitting other cars in traffic or bumping into other pedestrian because of staring and kuvunja shingo to confirm what they saw was real and not a Samantha on the streets.  She loved attention, and her phone was always abuzz with friend requests on social media, 2,000+ likes for her seductive posts and endless stream of friends seeking her to go to parties and show business appointments. I did not like too much attention on her, so I stepped in like a man and told her I was not comfortable with the strange men who called her past midnight and the long seductive conversations she held with them. Everyone had a weakness, and I felt it right to make right some things to avoid issues later. As far as I was concerned, we were in a serious relationship which we were both committed to seeing go past mere ‘sweetie’ and snog phase.

The big black Prado I had hired for the safari made a joke of the rough roads and mud after the heavy rains that had pounded most parts of the country. I loved the way Vero swayed and danced to the road rhythms, firmly saddled in her seat as we rushed passed the green farms, and boda boda riders on the way home. On arrival home, there was a huge crowd more than I had anticipated. Apparently, my dad a retired teacher, pastor and respected elder in the village and clan had invited all his friends, family members and relatives to come and welcome his embattled son and to be daughter in law. Sure, people had heeded to the call, and all my brothers, sisters and their families had come to see Omutua and his ‘Omundu Wase’. The sneak views on Facebook and Instagram posts were nothing near the real thing, as Vero sat there, hydrating and waiting for the next step.  The big car attracted a lot of attention which I so loved, but the moment Vero stepped out of the car onto the compound, hell broke loose…!

The large gathering at home in Naitiri

There was sudden hush and clutter as everyone rushed towards us. The big car and I were soon forgotten, and the quickly gathering audience crowded in to see this soft-soft, sensual, voluptuous, expensively dressed and perfumed, long haired, manicured town msungu girl Emboko Watima Wativa Wafula had brought to the village. They moved closer to sample her scent, too tempted to touch the goddess to confirm she was human and real, and closely inspect her generous body endowments. From the corner of my eyes, I saw my dad very disturbed and disapproving whatever was happening. I quickly saved myself from my old man’s wrath, and expertly walked my sweet banana away from the excited crowd to the waiting reception area in the large house my dad built for our family. The animated audience, not having got enough of my Omukhana Omsungu, tried to force their way into the house as other peeped through the large glass windows and the amazing woman and the proceedings. Already word was going round the village that I had brought Vera Sindika, the popular voluptuous Kenyan slay queen to Naitiri as my future wife…

Finally, Veronika Sindikha…

As Veronika Sindikha was welcomed to our family by my elder brother who was the spokesperson, I could feel uneasiness amongst my fellow clansmen and guests in the house. When I got the opportunity to officially introduce my ‘soft pillow’, I mentally worked out the best superlatives to describe her, before giving her the floor…



3 Comments Add yours

  1. Teresa says:

    The suspense though….I’m eager to see Mzee’s reaction when he finally gets to have a chat with Vera or is she vero 🤣🤣.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lewis Wafula says:

      Hi Teresa. Be patient. You will soon find out.


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