CAVEMAN ENCOUNTERS: Stuck with ‘Chips Funga’ and thereafter…

Tony Jumba* was a big man for his age. Big bodied and fit at 6 feet, he would easily pass for a 30 year old army man, yet he was a 25 years young, still in college. He stayed alone in his one bedroom in the middle class section of the Kasarani suburban, Nairobi. Although still young and good looking, life had had a toll on him, robbing him joy and confidence. This had affected how he related with people, and he kept to himself most of the time. He loved beautiful women, but approaching them was an issue. Those who came into his life were not good for his taste. Also, they could not keep up with him, and sooner or later opted out. Mumbi, a woman he met some years back fitted perfectly in his life, but she died in an accident. This matter really bothered him for a long time but he found no one to share the problem with. Rather than trouble people with his problems, he opted to lead a quiet life and work things out by himself.

He was a great painter, and played the guitar pretty well. He was also a footballer; left footed and good with dribbling with an eye for goal. When it allowed he featured for his college in Kenya College of Accountants (KCA). He also played instruments for his church, and boy he moved the congregation every time he touched that bass guitar. His pastor loved him, and was always concerned when he did not show up for service. Jumba feared God, but he had reservations on some issues, and not even the fiery Pastor Lukumba could shake him up. But yes, he listened to the word of God, and changed slowly. He was not a bad boy after all, only he wanted to make sense of things.

After about 3 years without a woman, it started weighing on him. He ate well, exercised regularly for his body and read extensively. Physically, he was in good shape with a well formed body frame and well-toned muscles. He always checked out his sculptured biceps and six packs when bathing and it pleased him a great deal to see they were getting deeper and harder. The few posts he posted racked instantly 500+ likes on his Facebook and Instagram pages. The women, who mostly followed his posts always asked for his number, but because of an experience he once had with an ‘under 18’ high school girl, who almost got him locked up in jail for developing an illicit relationship, he knew better. It was just the Facebook wow! Nice…awesome… but that was it. He wanted a woman in his life, and his body was suddenly having strong urges to towards getting laid. Every time a beautiful woman passed by, especially those with a full African size; he would develop strong sex urge, with instant erections. He could not help but look back in longing.

He could not sustain the longing any more. One night, a thought came to him that he could get a girl from the streets, do a one night stand, no strings attached and everyone moves with their respective lives. He resisted it at first, but the more he thought about it, the more it appealed to his cunning mind. He would be careful, he told himself. After surveying the area, on several nights of watching, he pounced on a beautiful, shapely and full bodied woman he had spotted strategically placed at the closed supermarket near where he stayed. He had said pleasantries to her severally, as he passed by and checked her out, and she noticed he was into her. Having gotten her number, he called her up one night, and hurriedly she ran to him to escape the rain and cold of the night. Her name was Sally* and life had forced her into the commercial sex business.

He got her home, and sudden confidence took over. She was pleasant to talk to, and her English was not bad at all. She told him her story, and she seemed sincere about it. She was a student too, but life was tough and she had to work to pay her bills. She seemed simple, straightforward and sincere, and Jumba flowed with her story. After serving her a warm meal and allowing her to take a hot shower, it was time for business. Jumba was already fully aroused when she emerged from the shower, naked and steaming hot. He had not seen a beautiful naked woman so close and so naked before. He wanted her, and his blood boiled as he lost composure and control of himself. No sooner had she joined him in the warm, sagging bed than he was into her. Being an expert in handling and pleading such customers, she was already prepared for him. She liked him in any way, for he had treated him with tenderness, care and he seemed he wanted more than sex. It was long for her since someone showered her such affection. She gave him her best service, and boy he liked it!

Fully aroused for the morning glory, Jumba woke up the sleepy Sally for the final romp. When finally they locked in the ancient dance of love, only the groans and loud moans could be heard from the apartment. It was too much for both of them, as they shattered the ceiling, traveled to the moon, past Mars and came back to earth, crush landing in the Atlantic Ocean. Wet and sweaty, both tried to disengage themselves to take a breather. Jumba tried to pull out but he was stuck. He composed himself but his member was firmly held in Sally’s quivering and wet body. The sudden realization that they were stuck got them panicking. They tried all tricks and maneuvers in vain. In the end, exhausted and Jumba particularly in pain for his constricted member had to think hard on a way out. He remembered that sermon Pastor Lukumba preached on fornication. The pastor had declared that any married man or woman who had sex outside marriage would get stuck, and only he could come to unstuck them. As for the young and unmarried, the same would happen and they would be displayed in shame to the public, before breaking them out.

They needed help desperately, helpless as they were. Their bodies were locked. Sally was quiet, troubled that the world would know what she was always up to in the night. Her parents in Naivasha knew she was a good girl, studying nursing at KMTC. She did not want her face on the front cover of the local dailies, and worse on social media. Jumba, bothered by the same issues, and also by the pain on his constricted member, contemplated his next step. No one was close to him to help out. What had happened had happened. He reached out for his cellphone and called Pastor Lukumba. He did not say much, but that he was in pain and needed help. This was almost six o’clock in the morning. Luckily, the pastor was planning to go out of town, and was almost out of his house. He quickly took his house keys and drove hurriedly from his estate in Roysambu to Kasarani, to aid one of his suffering sheep.

On arrival, he went up the 4 floors to house A9, where Jumba lived. His spirit was bothered, and the weight of the matter made him start praying in tongues, as he approached Jumba’s house. It would be a shame to his church, that a key member who played on the altar he served was stuck inside a woman while fornicating. It would break the young mans spirit when the whole world would look at him with accusing eyes, throwing stones, as if they had not sinned. Being a man of compassion and full of wisdom, he cried out to God, to forgive them, and intervene. He was a shepherd and not a judge, and he needed to rescue his sheep from the unforgiving finger of the world. Everyone could fall in sin, but then, what if when guided and properly dosed with the true word of God? Right there on the stairs, Pastor Lukumba got down on his knees, praying in tongues, as he wrestled unseen forces within. It was a trying moment for him, as he never compromised with sin. He recalled: the woman who was almost stoned to death for adultery by the Jews, the love-kindness and forgiveness of Jesus and the woman’s commitment to Jesus after that strongly ran through him. Oh the woman with the expensive perfume, and how she loved Jesus and the word, wherever he went. Pastor Lukumba stood up suddenly, collected himself and went to the door. He knew what to do.

He knocked on the door; reached for the lock and let himself in. the door was partially locked, to his relief. It would be awkward to get to someones house on a Thursday morning at 6:30 am. He found the two, in a messy paired lock up. Compassion took over anger. Love filled his heart as he tried to phantom the price for such sin. He looked into the alarmed young mans eyes and ordered them to separate. Almost instantly, Jumba felt the oppressive, painful vice grip that had got hold of the entire length of his manhood let go. He pulled out and checked if everything was in place down there. Yeah there was a little blood, but that was the least of the problems. Right there, the two were commandeered by the Pastor, who had taken authority to repent for their sin. They gave their lives to Christ by force. The Pastor left, without causing a sin, as the sobbing Sally, broken, confused and shamed was held in the arms of a contemplative Jumba.

6 months later, Jumba was busy with the work of God, leading prayers and worship at their church. He had gotten a good job after finishing his studies, and things were looking up. He respected Pastor Lukumba, who never mentioned the incident to anyone, not even him. In the 6 months, there was a total transformation of Jumba. Like a man getting out of a dark pit of mire unto the light and solid ground, he never looked back. People never understood, but his focus suddenly changed and little by little, he rose up to his full glory. On one Sunday, as he finalized on a lively presentation, amid the claps and ululations from the congregation; he saw from the raised platform a heavily pregnant pretty woman walk in and sit on the second left row from the front. She looked at him and smiled sweetly. When their eyes met, he saw it was Sally. She saw and confirmed it was Jumba. Pastor Lukumba, the ever seeing shepherd saw the two lock up their eyes and he went down on his knees in prayer. The first question on Jumba’s mind was-is this my baby in her womb? For the Pastor Lumbar-he wondered what she was going to say.

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