what kind of man are you,
to smile at me as we shake and cross our hands
Then you sneak behind my back to seduce my woman?
Am I not man enough,
that you have to add to the daily service I do?
Eish! Come out of your dilapidated, caving in cave.
Yes! I said come out of your shell of a house and answer me.
Come out if you are man enough!
This cannot go on, it must stop today.
We are going into the root of the matter.
Are the four woman under your conquest , whom you call your wives not enough for you;
that you want to snatch this only one I am trying to tether?
I know all your wives and concubines, all of them:
Nanjekho-the loud, round, proud one; she walks like ‘lipata’.
Nambuye-so well endowed with a big bosom and generous bottom;
No man can ever get out of her giant clasps or under her dead weight if she sits of him.
Naliaka-so tall, with a big manly frame, deep voice and mean look; she reminds me of Rambo!
Then Khalayi-I like her, as any sane hot blooded Luhya man would and should;
she has all any man would desire in a woman:
beauty, brains, an African woman’s body
and a behind that bounces with every step she makes.
Rufus, are these women not enough
to satiate and sustain your wet, hyena appetite
that you shamelessly pursue my fresh flower so that you can deflower
and add to your plunder?
When I pay her a visit over the weekends
She has to ensure no one sees me come into her house
Yet I buy her flowers, popcorn and city foods;
and give her money to use.
At night, just as we settle down after a delicious and sumptuous meal,
You come cat calling through the landana live fence,
and knock on her bedroom window!
You send her please call me, on the kabambe I bought for her…?
Are you a teenager, now filled with fantasies about women?
Shame on you, Rogue Rufus
Do not ask how I found out all this,
I know it is you.
A whole grown up man like you, with a beard and belly to boot
sending Please Call Mes to my lover
That she might call you using my phone and airtime!
When I walk her to the market to buy groceries,
Many of the villagers hush and look in our direction
Pointing fingers behind our backs.
Though I pretend not to notice,
I always hear in hush hush, ‘Look, the woman Rufus cries for and desires will all of his heart…’
Ah! This drives me mad.
When I confront the woman
She does not deny, but claims that I must prove my manhood and love
Or I lose her to a better man…you!
No. I will not be fooled or short changed!
You rogue, leave my woman alone.
Go look elsewhere and find another wife or concubine to add to your bloated tally.
Just leave Nasambu alone!
Why has none of your diverse array of women under your conquest given you a child?
Is your machete not sharp enough to cut,
or are all the lands you clear and till infertile for the seeds you plant?
Why do you shamelessly desire and want my woman
When you cannot satisfy a whole four at your disposal, plus your concubines?
Why do you want to prise away this small piece of land from my possession
when you have vast lands that go wild and un-tilled.
My Nasambu is mine, me alone.
I cannot share my soft pillow, especially not with you he-goat
Not even in exchange for all your four wives
Especially Naliaka, who looks like Rambo
Uhhh! I cannot stand her.
Nothing you have equals to Nasambu,
my sweetheart, my heartbeat.
Now listen, Rufus
People call you Kuunwa-the bull,
I call you he-goat!
It suits you, as I consider you both a rogue and a fool.
You are a misdirected misfit for your age, a disgrace to your age-mates and the village.
You are a big man with a small brain, swelled up ego and un-sharpened machete.
Me, Khaoya wa Khamala : as a man well endowed with balls and all
I ask you to listen for once:
If ever you force yourself on my woman
Or ever seduce and juju her to bed…
Haaaaa! You will regret your act, as I will know it when you climb on her
and I warn you you will get stuck like dogs.
I am the only one who will unstuck you,
but first after giving you a beating you will never forget.
I have finished , now;
I see you are such a coward you cannot come out of the house,
But only peer under the safety of your wives skirts
Continue making fun with your women.
One day, as you go around he-goating
You will catch the dreaded bull disease,
and a daring hot blooded man and with sharpened machete
Will make camp in your homestead,
eat all your yams and lick the bowls.
I am leaving now, but head my warning,
Stop pursuing my woman!